It’s more important how you see yourself than how others see you. I remember growing up with my friends and feeling like I had to tear myself down, because if I let them or anyone know that hey I thought I looked good today, that they would label me as conceited and self-centered. To me, that was the last thing I wanted to be. I didn’t want people to look at me and think “Wow, she’s so full of herself because she likes how she looks”. It’s like we’re preconditioned to hate how we look.
I read something on Facebook one time that said, “All of you have a little save the world inside you. And it’s ok if all you save is yourself”. Loving yourself in a loveless society seems almost impossible. If we’re looked down upon for loving someone else how the hell are we supposed to love ourselves? It’s so important to love yourself, because once you start to hate yourself, you start to hate your life. So here are 3 ways to love yourself in a loveless society.
1. Take yourself on dates.
Yes, I know this sounds weird and crazy, but when you’re first falling in love with someone what do you do? You go on dates with them, you find out random things about them that spur your interest. You learn what their laugh sounds like, and what their eyes look like when they’re thinking. Dates are how you get to know someone and eventually fall in love, so why not date yourself?
2. Compliment yourself.
Every day, name 1 thing that you love about yourself. For me, it’s my eyes, it’s the one thing that I have never criticized or hated about my appearance. Find just one thing that you love about yourself, and it can change how you view yourself because eventually you’re going to have to start digging deeper. First, you start with the surface things like your eyes, your hair, or your smile. Then you go to the deeper things like being able to make new friends anywhere, or give great advice. If you can start to compliment yourself daily, then you’re on track to a better you.
3. Accept compliments from others.
We’re all guilty of avoiding compliments. When someone says oh you look so nice today, just doing that awkward laugh and saying no but thanks. Stop doing that! Learn to take a breath and say well thank you. If someone’s complimenting you, it’s usually sincere, it’s not a joke and not something they did because it makes their life better. They could have gone on with their life never having complimented you but they didn’t, they felt the need to tell you that they like this about you.
Those are only 3 ways to love yourself I know, and I could list a lot more, but it’s not something you can just do in a day, it’s something that takes time, so get to work.
This post was written by my dear friend Noelle Kathleen Prideaux originally featured in the Odyssey Online. Noelle is an inspiration to the positivity movement, and she truly lives her message. More of her work can be found at https://www.theodysseyonline.com/@noelleprideaux
Sometimes friendships end, they can end because of conflict or fighting, but sometimes they can end because of something less traumatic. It can really hurt when friendships end, especially when you had a lot invested in the relationship or didn't want it to end. Some important things to remember when a friendship ends are the things that you can control.
1. You Can Control Your Reactions
Sometimes friendships end on unhappy terms, even if the other person is lashing out you get to choose your response. Just because the other person is choosing not to act kindly doesn't mean you have to as well. You can decide to stay out of their drama triangle and choose to be kind to them anyways.
2. You Can Choose How You Remember the Friendship
Have you ever lost a friendship and been so mad that you can't remember anything good about the relationship? There had to be something good about that person or you wouldn't have been their friend in the first place. You can decide that you want to remember the good things, this goes with a gratefulness mindset or a mindful approach to life. Try making an entry in your gratitude journal that lists all the reasons that you're glad to have had that person in your life. You can also write a list of all the things that this person taught you.
3. You Can Choose How to Move Forward
If the relationship is toxic do not go back, and I am proud of you for getting away; remember, friends can be abusers, not just parents or boyfriends and girlfriends. If the friendship wasn't toxic, you can decide if there is a chance for reconciliation, if there is, you can try to make up with them and be friends again. If being friends again isn't possible, then try to move forward with grace, you can decide to remove yourself from their social media or not, but don't use it as a platform to harass or stalk them, and certainly don't vaguebook about them, you're better than that and it's just not cute.
The bottom line is that it stinks to lose a friendship, and while at least half of it is out of your hands you at least have control over yourself and how you handle the things in your power.